I was at the point where I needed to find the humor in this process. My friend Jill was one of our references for our homestudy. I saw her tonight, and she brought a copy of the reference form with her. She thought I might want to see what she said, maybe even read it aloud to the group we were with. What follows is Jill’s handiwork.
The other day, I had to be fingerprinted, TB-tested, hepatitis-tested, HIV-tested and drug-tested for clearance with various agencies that work with kids in our state. It was… exhausting. And not very much fun. On the up-side, I think my daughter may have an interesting story based on the fact that Mommy had to go into the booking area of the jail and later had to pee in a cup, but somehow I don’t think her version of that tale is going to cast me in the best light.
How long have you known this couple?
I met Heather during my incarceration, which was about 6 months ago. Heather and I served time together for tax evasion.
How would you describe their character?
G’s character: Peter Griffin, the father from The Family Guy. Like Peter, G is irresponsible, a heavy drinker, and has an IQ that is borderline at best.
Heather’s character: Nemo. She often seems “lost,” but is also a fantastic swimmer.
How would you describe their parenting ability?
With the help of SRS, I think they have the potential to become great parents. It may be too late for poor M, though.
Would you recommend them to adopt a child?
Yes. The tax breaks that additional children bring to the family help people like Heather and myself stay honest and up-to-date on our taxes.
Please don’t hold Heather’s illegal alien status against her. She’s still a wonderful person.